Okay, I am on a Geocaching discussion board and three friends of mine went to the Sipsey Wilderness Area for an overnight Geocaching/Backpacking/Hiking trip. One of them posted a story that was too funny not to share. Below is his account. I am still waiting on the others' accounts.
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Where do I even start!!!
Chapter One:
The QUEST For Food
I was in my Jeep (we first thought we would park 1 vehicle at one trailhead and the other at the end of the trail...) and OBH was in his truck with gubbool.
We got to the general area of Double Springs and OBH decides that he wants something hot to eat before we start the hike into "No-Man's-Land".
They vere off the road looking for "O'Brian Steakhouse" and I give chase in my Jeep. After leaving civilization (if one could call it that) we press on for about 11 miles... I'm in my Jeep thinking, "Where the heck are they going?
Jasper??? We just passed "East Jesus" and are on the outskirts of "East WhereTheHellAmI" when we come up on a doublewide trailer with a five broken down old trucks/cars in the yard and a few kids with 4 teeth between them. OBH taps his brakes a few times, then moves on a little further. I called them, but they wouldn't answer. They FINALLY pull over and I pull up next to them to find these 2 old geezers cracking up!
They thought that that house was O'Brian Steakhouse, when in fact, it was probably a guy named O'Brian and his last name was Steakhouse, cause there wasn't any eating establishments around that area for 20 square miles!!! We headed back to Double-Springs and ate a "gut-grenade" at a local "Choke-n-puke" in town. I thought we were gonna get thrown out of there SEVERAL times because of OBH and gubbool laughing! Me, I didn't see anything too dang funny... until we got started on our hike...
Chapter Two:
OBH's "Sure Footedness"
We park out vehicles, read the signs, do some last-minute packing and adjusting our packs, suiting up, and heading out.
Our "Leader", OBH a.k.a. Sure Foot, started down the trail (because he'd already been there FIFTEEN YEARS EARLIER) and we followed like soldiers in Vietnam on recon. We had gone .018 miles according to our Garmin's, and an older couple with 2 grandkids were coming the other way in an area REAL CLOSE to the river (about 5 feet below). OBH a.k.a. Sure Foot, not wanting to hold up progress, decided to go ahead, only he chose to go sideways and down instead of straight and level. He slid down the mud and into the river! The old guy in front of us hit the ground, grabbing his chest from laughing and started having a minor heart-attack. The old woman was performing CPR, while crying from laughter! Me and gubbool just stood there. Nothing new here. We've seen it many times. Same story, different day. OBH a.k.a. Sure Foot, scratches and crawls his way out of the Sipsey and onto the trail again, having looked like he jst PISSED hiself and having a "mud-slide" too! (If I hadn't seen the slide down into the river, I would've thought that Bertha's BBQ Special didn't agree with OBH too well...) Anyway we pressed on, chuckling a little...OK A LOT!
Chapter Three:
OBH a.k.a. Sure Foot Strikes Again!
We hike through for about 4 miles +/-, and come up to a bridge and MORE people. We stop and look for a cache closeby. Having secured that, we started down the other side of the bridge to continue on to where we were gonna camp. We just chose differnet means of traveling... gubbool and myself chose to WALK down, OBH a.k.a. Sure Foot, choose the SLIDE/ROLL in the mud method.
Gubbool and myself, learned to let OBH a.k.a. Sure Foot go first to see how NOT to do it, then we do it the RIGHT way. (that and for the entertainment value, that is). I was behind OBH a.k.a. Sure Foot, on the trail most of the way. That mud stank! (Or was it OBH???) Hmm...
Chapter Four:
The Campsite
We find a campsite, and then we leave it to backtrack to another campsite.
There was NO dry wood to build a fire. It had rained for about 4 days here. I purchased a Gerber Pack Hatchet and a really cool, fold-up Wood saw that was VERY light as it was made of aluminum. I set up my tent, laid out my air-matress and sleeping bag, and broke out the tools to get firewood. We found some small logs and started cutting them into the right length and splitting them with the hatchet. After about 2 hours, we had a fire. The rest of the night was devoted to cutting, splitting and feeding the fire and our faces. Went to our tents and tried to sleep. Then, it rained...
Chapter Five:
The Next Morning
We get up, eat, pack our stuff up and decide on our next course of action.
Gubbool kneels down and puts his pack on, OBH a.k.a. Sure Foot, chose the "Sit on the ground, strap on the pack, roll over to your knees, then get up" method. I chose the "the ground is too wet to sit on it and roll, I'll just pull my heavy pack up with 1 hand and pull a muscle in my left side" method. I chose poorly. It hurt to breathe. I told them to go ahead. I would just stay here and die. I couldn't hardly move, and when I did, I wish I hadn't. Gubbool, a.k.a. PackMule, scoops up MY pack, along with HIS and started back to the road (approx 1/4 mile?). OBH a.k.a. Sure Foot, is assigned the task of getting ME back. I walked like a penguin with a scorching case of hemorrhoids! (And I've never had a problem with that either! Probably would've preferred that though...)
It took me about 45 minutes to get back to the bridge. We found a couple that was about to leave and they gave me and OBH a ride back to our vehicles. I got in my Jeep (took about an hour to get in) and OBH put my pack in my backseat. I started home and they continued on with "Our" plans. (I was looking forward to more entertainment from OBH a.k.a. Sure Foot, but later found out that it was gubbool who provided the roll and tumble, spraining his wrist!)
Oh well, our LAST trip ended up with me catching a cold and coughing all night and for the next 2 weeks, THIS trip, I pulled muscles in my back and have to go to a chiropractor!
Can't wait for the NEXT trip! Guess on THAT one, I'll give birth or something!
